From the developer of Knife Hit, Fidget Spinner and Amazing Ninja, Ketchapp brings the ultimate in multitasking frustration, hair pulling and destruction of various iDevices to the smartphone with the utterly annoying “2 Cars”.
My buddies and I were lucky to have a car, much less two cars, especially in the poverty-ridden third world enclaves of the Bronx Borough of New York. Low riders equipped with submachine guns and deer rifles were commonplace along with 21 switch electronically controlled suspensions so one could bounce their low rider up and down at traffic lights to intimidate other gangsters and hopefully attract some female companionship!
Special $5 spacers also called “coil assisters” were used to enhance the bouncing effect but had to be removed prior to any road trips because otherwise it would ride like a HORSEWAGON on cheap coke! A combination of Amsoil and other snake oil treatments tailored to a low rider’s pushrod engine ensured that should the oil pan be smashed during suspension-bouncing tournaments and all the oil spill out, the car would still run for 20–25 more city blocks before seizing and going up in flames.
I had a lot of fun with that super lube thinking it would make my car invincible or immortal but sadly I realized I had been fooled hook, line and sinker by other guys who do nothing but constantly tinker with their Broncos and Suburbans thinking their armchair knowledge was superior to the Italian master mechanics of the South Bronx where they exclusively work on Ferraris all day but nonetheless use conventional motor oil with zero problems.
Have you ever played a game that looked to be quite appetizing or alluring in the App Store and just knew you had to play it only to find out you can’t last for more than 15 seconds or 18 points, whichever comes first? That reminds me of owning a Ford in the days of yesteryear. It promised a lot but was a total engineering nightmare that even regular oil changes every 15 seconds or 18 miles (whichever came first) couldn’t remedy and neither would it save it from the junkyard.
So I came across this multitasking game named 2 Cars thinking I just had to try it and not only that but the rating was quite high in the App Store and it had over 78 ratings too. I let that lure me into thinking it’s gotta be good and I’ll really test my abilities to the max and score some points to boot!
A minimalist splash screen looked enticing as well as I’m a big fan of minimalism and overall simplicity.
Dreamy, new age-like instrumental music with an awesome beat and far superior to muzak began playing. Surely this is going to be fun and I bet I’ll become addicted and play for hours. Afterall, the leaderboard boasted of hordes of loyal gamers garnering upwards of 1800 points! Well, hold your horses cowboy because I don’t know how they did that. It reminds me of other games which are mundane and ridiculously impossible to play yet one clearly sees the leaderboard boasting of even millions of points!
Well, after playing this I could use a million pints of my favorite IPA to settle down my frazzled nerves. This game is a steaming pile of shit LOL!
Okay, I gave it several chances and am well known for having good gaming skills and reaction time. Also I am a pretty good multitasker. That’s pretty much my gaming background. I can eventually get the hang of any game but this one is a no go. Nope. I couldn’t score more than 18 lousy points.
Gameplay looks to be simple enough right? Take the circles and avoid the squares but also don’t miss a single circle or it is game over for you.
Just tap using both thumbs to make each car swerve to the right or left. It’s really that simple but frustration will linger with you for eons if you don’t first launch your iPhone across the room in a fit of virtual road rage. Bah!
It looks so simple doesn’t it? So basic. The cars look cute, almost like a piece of candy. I like simple graphics such as these. Great sound too by the way as I mentioned earlier. I would love to download or somehow stream that song on my computer or play it in my car as long as it doesn’t evoke any memories of fiddling with this game designed to cause imminent and rapid failure or digital outrage.
I can almost guarantee and the gambler in me says I’ll bet the bank you don’t survive more than 1 minute before your game is over. Probably you’ll last about 10 seconds and then perish.
I’m thinking the large number of likes attributed to this game is simply because of the sheer complexity and challenge it provides. Maybe someone has figured out a pattern such that they can keep going and make it to the top of the so-called leaderboard.
Maybe many folks just enjoy beating themselves up.
Try moving that car to the right and the other to the right or left and at the same time grab all the circles coming by and yet not hit the squares.
The only saving grace to this game is the lack of ads but that’s only because I probably didn’t last long enough to see any. LOL.
Take a look at that leaderboard. Umm, yeah, right. Sure!
If you enjoy digital gaming torture of not just the third degree, nor the second but prefer first degree assaults on your senses, coordination and the ultimate test in anger management, give 2 Cars a try.
I must give this 4/10 stars simply because it is a unique concept. Rarely do we see such implementation of multitasking on games in mobile devices. But rarely do we last long enough to enjoy it.
Nevertheless I’m deleting this monstrosity off my iPhone. Right. Now. One car is enough for me! 😉